In this post-everything world, we have come to accept all kinds of modes of behavior. It would seem that things are getting worse and worse by day. Behavior which was generally accepted among the youngish people and which was considered somewhat normal (“they’ll grow out of it”) is now perpetuated into a crowd of people who are older, and who should, as the saying goes, know better. Charlotte Allen wrote an article for the newest issue of The Weekly Standard, exploring the world of dating in America. It is an excellent article and I highly recommend it. But I think there is something more to this than just a social commentary. Perhaps there are questions which go beyond psychology of the human character or human deviancy.
I was surprised to find out from the article different ways people are “hooking-up.” I didn’t know that a woman would seek out a narcissistic sex addict (who blogs about his conquests) and then actually be proud of it. For example, the whole notion of reclaiming the word “slut” and saying that it is society’s problem for viewing this word negatively and not the woman’s is mind-boggling. One cannot change a reality; a negative is a negative, darkness is still darkness. These women (and men) are drowning in a world of fantasy: empty soul is their place of being. Do they have the intellect to see it?
One of the most obvious reasons why women in particular behave the way they do sexually is of course feminism. Feminism did not give women liberation of any kind. In fact, it imprisoned women in the ideology which seeks vulgarity. Instead of reacting to men’s objectification of women and showing the dignity of the human person in our lives, women decided that it would be a “good idea” to objectify themselves, without the help of men. Another great problem is that women (through this “sexual liberation”) have reduced themselves to female genitalia and constant need to experience pleasure in the form of orgasm. Somehow they have convinced themselves that they are empowered without understanding that hunting men sexually and engaging in a promiscuous behavior is exactly the objectification that they’ve been running from.
Men who were portrayed in Charlotte Allen’s article are obviously not real men. They are guilty of denying the dignity of the human person and the gift of sexuality. However, I do believe it is up to women to change the situation for the better. It would appear that women Allen mentions are looking for assertive, domineering men (which is why they would engage in such behavior). It has been said many times that women really want to be dominated, even if they are denying such a claim. I don’t believe this for a minute. If one wants to be sexually (or otherwise) dominated then one is suffering from a broken spirit and a deviant behavior which needs to be remedied. What women truly want in men are these three characteristics: honor, courage and protection. These three characteristics are assertive and forthright. Women are confusing this with dominance. Ultimately, in order for a dominant to be in existence, there has to be a submissive. In the case of this strange “hooking-up,” women are most certainly the latter.
As I have said, I believe it is up to women to change this miserable situation. And it isn’t just in this area: think of the reasons why marriage is on the decline, and young women are in relationships with men up to ten years, cohabitating, convincing themselves that they don’t want to get married. That they want to be free of any commitments. They are not living up to the possible calling which would take not only them but men as well, into a higher reality of becoming a fuller human being. The woman has assumed the role of an uncommiting male, and as a result there are incredible misunderstandings between them.
My biggest point in almost everything that I write or see in the world goes back into question: am I recognizing a dignity of the human person in another? Is this person being treated as an object or can something else be done instead, namely recognition of human soul? This is the heart of the matter and both men and women who are abusing each other need to ask themselves who they really are and are they living teleologically? In other words, is their life a journey towards transient pleasures that will burn out as soon as their bodies do, or is the end they are moving towards called God?
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