Modern Pilgrimage

I.

Everywhere around me I notice struggling and exhausted masses in a sleepwalking state.  Without being aware of it, they wonder what does it all mean and why are we born.  These are, of course, perennial questions.  The problem, as I see it, is that they are not asked often enough.

I do not wish to engage into nostalgia - fantasies of better times.  Evil has existed before and it maintains its venomous presence in any age, in any era, common or uncommon.  As Ecclesiastes says: "There is nothing new under the sun."

Despite the continuity and similarities of human condition throughout history, any intelligent historian will tell us that there are particularities which distinguish one epoch from another.  Our current state of being is an age, which readily accepts the ridiculous fantasy that God does not exist.  The by-product, if you will, of that assertion is an acceptance of nihilism as a viable option for living - a plan, a lifestyle.

The culture of "no" or put another way, "the culture of death" is not hard to find.  We don't have to search ceaselessly in order to find it.  From specific cases such as chillingly calculating infanticides of Kermit Gosnell to bleak, soulless, and tinny echoes coming from the rooms of assisted suicides, and anything else in between - everywhere we look, we see a blatant disregard for the dignity of human life.

The meaninglessness of of existence, whose symptoms include dread, boredom, and anxiety, takes root in an individual's soul once he or she begins to see metaphysical suicide as a way of life.  Culture of death does not imply a transient and short lived opinion of single individual that quickly dissipates.  On the contrary, its power is stronger than that.  It means that the idea of culture of death has entered into the consciousness of an individual, and that he or she views life instantly and primarily through a nihilistic lens.  It is one thing to experience dread and thoughts of suicide.  It is another to find perverse joy in it.

The world is full of darkness.  In fact, most of life is difficult.  One either dreads getting up in the morning with nothing to look forward to or one prolongs the time in the outside world of destructive distractions so that the visibility and experience of solitude is reduced as much as possible.  Self-imposed amnesia sounds like a much better option.

II.

A friend recommended I see this film called The Way (2010).  I did not hear of it when it came out.  It's not a blockbuster, a money making venture.  On top of it, the film deals with religious themes without sentimentality and spirituality-on-demand.

The film is directed by Emilio Estevez and the lead is played by his father, Martin Sheen.  It tells a story of a man in his 60s, Tom Avery, who has been living a fairly comfortable life.  He is an accomplished eye doctor who likes to golf.  His days seem to blend into one another, and it is obvious that he is not interested in the small unpredictabilities of life.  Tom is also a bit of a curmudgeon.  His relationship with his son, Daniel (played in the film by Estevez) is tense mainly because Tom does not approve of Daniel's life choices (for example, choosing to not finish his PhD but instead to travel the world).

Tom is shaken out of his country club existence by one phone call, which interrupts his game of golf.  The call comes from France, a police captain who informs him that his son was caught in a heavy storm over the Pyrenees and that he died.  Unbeknownst to Tom, Daniel chose to make an 800 km trek to Santiago de Campostela.  The trek is known as Camino de Santiago (The Way of St. James) and the final point of the pilgrimage is the cathedral of Santiago de Campostela.

Tom goes to France with only one purpose - to collect Daniel's body.  But in the course of a day, he chooses to cremate the body and with his son's ashes to walk the camino.  On the road, he encounters many pilgrims and reluctantly forms a bond with some of them.  Joost is from Amsterdam and is walking the way because he is overweight; Sarah is from Canada and she claims that she walks because she wants to quit smoking but later we learn is that she was physically abused by her husband and that she had an abortion, which she now regrets; and Jack who is from Ireland, a writer aspiring to be James Joyce but is plagued with a writer's block.

Here they are - four pilgrims, all looking for something, trying to find their way - almost reminiscent of the travelers in The Wizard of Oz.  But of course, the trip is not about a wizard, but it is about a healing, which may never come.

Estevez wrote the script, and he also appears in the film in a series of flashbacks of Tom's memory, as well as visions Tom has of Daniel on the journey.  The film preserves the gravity of questions of one's existence.  Don't expect a heavy European outlook on evil or pain.  This is a distinctly American vision which always maintains the capacity to be idealistic.  But I would not call this a hindrance at all.

Sheen gives an excellent performance of a closed off man, who wears an armor but is afraid to go into the battle.  The film has no ideological message, and it is tough to categorize (which is always a positive aspect of any art form).  It does not judge one way or the other nor does it make demands from the audience to do such a thing.

Although the vision of God is rooted in the Christian tradition, particularly in the Roman Catholic tradition, one does not have to be Catholic to understand the meaning and message of the film - life is a journey.  At the beginning of the film, Tom firmly states that he has chosen a particular life.  Daniel replies that one does not choose life, one lives it.

III.

All of these elements in the film relate to the meaninglessness of existence I spoke of in the early part of this essay.  Our dissatisfactions and quickly accepted nihilism comes from the unwillingness to experience a glimpse of our own humility.  This does not mean a totalization of our very selves or others, nor does it mean self-annihilation.  On the contrary, it points to an assertion of the finite "I," a wondrous creation of "first person singular" which is part of reality bigger than ourselves.

In other words, I am a finite being capable to move toward the infinite.  This thought and remembrance of God, when put into action, is one way, one path toward the refusal to give in to the darkness.  It is the beginning of an effort to wake up in the morning, wiggle your toes, and say that today is a good day to not commit suicide, and as Peggy Lee sings, to "take a deep breath and throw away your pills."