Is there a point in man’s life that he succumbs to despair and gives up on life? Is there a point that nothing matters anymore: not his own life, not the surroundings he once cherished, not the nature, not the friendships he once had or has, books he enjoyed reading, music he looked forward to listening? Certainly, there is. We all know. Perhaps we have all been there as well. Some take the next step of crossing into another reality. This reality can be one of “yes” or one of “no.”
It is true that often we are not recognized by our peers, or even by people. And the more we live in the reality of unrecognition, the more we become the unrecognized. The more we focus on the fact that we are discarded, the more we become powerless. Our being has been overtaken by the non-being, and then (truly) there is no exit. The non-being is insidious, like poison or cancer. It enters one’s mind and heart and body and renders one impotent in action. This inability to act can be quite crippling and the longer we allow the inaction to remain within us, the more difficult it will be to reach a point of healing and recovery.
What I’m writing about can be construed as some type of state of anxiety, whether it be neurotic or existential, which is why I mention healing. This is misunderstood greatly. Healing refers to the mending of one’s spirit in step, in precise following of God. We don’t have to empty ourselves of our troubles or even anxiety itself. In fact, I would advise against it. Buddhist meditation may be quite useful, and being “zen” is a neat experience but we cannot completely negate our lives; especially not our history. We are who we are. And as such, we have to be able to meet ourselves at that point. Emptying oneself completely of one’s experience renders one bodiless, not in tune with the human condition. Healing begins (and perhaps even ends) with the acceptance of human condition and human fate. It consists of “man’s search for meaning” of that condition.
Recently, I read an interview with Woody Allen, who continuously affirmed the meaninglessness of human life. We all know Allen’s films and his schtick; it’s actually pretty funny and Annie Hall is one of my favorite films. But it’s bleak, and the interview showed that Woody Allen is not just some whiny Jewish guy. In fact, his take on life is nihilistic. This is where I draw the line. As a human being, I may experience emptiness and meaninglessness of life at different stages. This, to me, is quite normal. But I would never go as far as to deny life itself. The point is to always move towards life’s “yes,” even if our being is threatened by the non-being. In other words, is there a teleological movement in our lives, and what does it consist of? This is an important question. There are many ways to find out who we are, and asking this question is certainly one of them.
Making sense of suffering is one of our tasks as human beings. Once we stop asking questions about the meaning of suffering (one of the symptoms being meaninglessness and emptiness), we give up on life. Answers are not guaranteed. What is guaranteed is being part of the human drama, which is always intertwined with the Divine. This is precisely the reason why we must not empty ourselves or seek to become bodiless masses. We risk losing a dialogue with the Divine if we seek to be emptied, and ultimately a dialogue with our fellow human beings.
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